At the age of eighteen, I got pregnant during my first semester of college. As you can imagine, this was a shocker. The emotions were incredibly difficult. This was not what was “supposed” to happen, according to the plan laid out before a young woman of middle class status - you go to college, you find a husband, you get a job, you buy a house. I hadn’t done any of those things yet.
I placed my daughter with her new adoptive family, and immediately went back to school. With the story of “not enough” in my head - not old enough, wealthy enough, educated enough - I believed myself unworthy to be a mother. No one whispered in my ear, “My dear girl, you are inherently worthy!”
Those wounded “not enough” beliefs nestled deep inside of me for a long time, permeating my entire life. I went back to school again, and again for a second Master’s degree, had a son, had a husband, and yet, still felt inadequate.I perpetually felt inadequate. I developed severe IBS. My nervous system was a wreck. At one point, I was on anti-anxiety medications. I couldn’t sit still. I wasn’t comfortable around people. The stories, believe me, go on.
I was never at home in my own body, or in the world. Though it looked on the outside as if I was.
I actually ran myself into the ground, developing an adrenal disorder in my early thirties. I was the administrator in a very good school! It would appear as though I had it together, but in actuality, I was always striving to feel good enough. I woke up and realized what I had been doing - never slowing down, never appreciating what I had and always wanting more, never feeling like I could actually succeed - when my son was three. I remembered who I was, who I had been. That’s when I say that I “began the conscious walk back to myself.”
I remembered the joyful experience of love outside of striving. I remembered to feel the sun while resting on a blanket. I remembered that I was inherently beautiful and worthy, though it would take me some time to truly embody that. And, I remembered that I was a woman, something that felt significantly undervalued the deeper I looked through society’s lens.
It was not “easy,” but it was and continues to be incredibly worthwhile.
I found a practice of mindfulness and brought it to my personal and professional life. As I “woke up,” I went to every trauma-healing, energy-moving, heart-validating, (sometimes rattle-shaking) practitioner and healer I could. I DUG into the personal work. I searched the depths of my soul.
(I was born on “The Day of the Soul Searcher.” Ask anyone who knows me - I have lived into this.)
What I have found is better than anything I’ve imagined, and I still live a life of continual exploration. To live a soul-filled life, this is the way.
Whether you are just beginning your journey or are at a point of taking a leap, I’d love to connect with you. I love supporting you doing the deep-dive work, stepping into your life purpose, or taking the reigns on your own life.
Women and men everywhere are waking up to the story of inadequacy and separation that I have LIVED - through the adoption of my first child and all of the internal beliefs that always held me back. And, I have lived and continue to live the reclamation. It is a sincere and arduous journey. But it is a worthy one.
Many will not take it. For your own soul and fulfillment, I hope that you will.
I crave and encourage authenticity. I love talking about what is real. I believe in people sometimes more than they believe in themselves.
I am here to serve YOU from the connected space of the heart, and to respond to the needs of each of my clients and the world beyond. I believe we come here to live the stories of our lives so that we can then heal and be of service. Embodied Breath is my offering. I have lived a story of “not enough,” which was rooted so deeply to my core. Through my own journey of immense personal work combined with vast professional training, it is my hope to share with you the connection, encouragement, tools, permissions, and anything else you need so that you no longer have to believe this myth of inadequacy about yourself.
Why is this work needed now?
So that people of all ages may be free of self-limiting beliefs and we break the cycle of lack beliefs in our selves, families, communities.
So that we can give ourselves permission to listen to our own soul's calling - our own internal truth.
So relationships can thrive as partners lift one another up rather than create further disconnect. My work with couples is based in personal evolution first.
So that we may all notice the warmth of the sun before we worry how to fill the next moment with a task from our to-do list.
So that we can heal our traumas and live authentically and wholeheartedly for the remaining days of our lives.
So LOVE can prevail.
I look forward to connecting with you, learning your stories, and supporting you on your own path.
When we give ourselves permission, everything changes.